Un-hawthorne-ed

I often think that I should stop reading anything that people type.

Being forced to read anything else means that I am forced to react initially in some way.

I'm fairly certain that I would prefer not to think about most things one way or another. And since Social Media and internet interaction in general is based solely on initial interaction via the typed word, in order to remove myself from thinking about what I read, I would like to not have to read it at all.

It comes down to the fact that not only do I now want to be forced to make a determination regarding other's thoughts, but I honestly don't think I really care to.

I'm not sure what that makes me. Perhaps a complete egotist. But I would rather think at all about people based not on what they think, but what they do.

Too much meaningless thought, so many empty and wasted words to ignore. Entire diatribes of pedantic rhetoric.

Less talk, more action.

Big Bang Blog - Time for a new CRM?

2011-12-08T18:22:00.000-06:00

Big Bang Blog - Time for a new CRM?

Big Bang Blog - Small Business Learning - Part 1 - The Employer

2011-12-06T10:58:00.000-06:00

Big Bang Blog - Small Business Learning - Part 1 - The Employer

Big Bang Blog - Battle Royale - Development vs. Marketing

2011-12-01T14:50:00.000-06:00

Big Bang Blog - Battle Royale - Development vs. Marketing

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Finale

2011-11-30T10:32:00.000-06:00

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Finale

Big Bang Blog - Top Five Things I'm Thankful for as a Marketer

2011-11-25T09:52:00.000-06:00

Big Bang Blog - Top Five Things I'm Thankful for as a Marketer

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Part 3

2011-11-22T15:22:00.000-06:00

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Part 3

Fountainhead is scaring me for the first time...

2011-11-20T21:16:00.002-06:00

Typically, when I read Fountainhead every fall, Ayn Rand's Objectivist philosophy brought to life via masterful fiction retains its place in the ideological sandbox of my limited understanding. This year, however, the undercurrents of real-life social and political animus, dare I even say vox populi, are forging a somewhat disturbing bridge from the formerly abstract. I'm a little frightened during this year's read-through.

That is all.

Big Bang Blog - The Biggest Marketing Convention of the Year and Why You Should Attend Next Fall

2011-11-17T11:53:00.000-06:00

Big Bang Blog - The Biggest Marketing Convention of the Year and Why You Should Attend Next Fall

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Part 2

2011-11-15T15:46:00.000-06:00

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Part 2

Why Politics makes my stomach churn

2011-11-04T20:44:00.003-05:00

So much is currently transpiring in the political arenas, both on the state and federal level. Recall elections for senators, now a potential recall for the governor at the state level. Uber-saturation of constant GOP debate and rhetoric. And worst of all, Occupy "Something or Someplace" for "Some Reason".

The last thing I am going to attempt is to create yet another arm-chair, ill-informed and pedantic, politically oriented blog. The only thing I am going to do is comment on the complete lack of etiquette and intelligent conversation that dominates the media, but particularly the political activists.

I understand that the very definition of activist already applies the given paradigm of fervor and zeal toward a particular party or set of beliefs and the resultant expression of those beliefs. But I am seriously bothered by how ineffectual, inconsiderate, and on occasion, insane the behavior of those involved, and just how ridiculous the expected outcome is from the actual result.

Without revealing my own political bent, I will merely articulate that one side of the aisle consistently more vociferous than the other. It is almost as though, when logical thought escapes, and calm, rational discussion doesn't offer the types of result that they desire, repetition, name calling and an idea that if you don't get what you want, yell loudly so no one else can hear what the opponent is saying.

The only thing that this behavior makes me thing of, every single time, is a classic old adage - I would rather be silent, and have the world think me a fool, than open my mouth and prove it.

Eat Pray Love...Vomit

2011-05-28T06:56:00.008-05:00

Very seldom do I watch a film and take issue with its ideology. There can be deficiencies in acting, script, screenplay, cinematography, etc., but rarely do I fault the writer for his/her position or worldview. Much of how they put what they do of themselves into the script's motif is what makes or breaks the movie, but I typically don't question the "why".

Eat Pray Love however, incited strong and very specific animosity toward the "why" and I found myself exceedingly annoyed by the blatant and poorly orchestrated display of what can only be described as relativism.

When the premise for the film's entire ideology is based on the mutterings of a toothless medicine man in Bali, who ironically enough later doesn't remember them, you know you are in for a long ride.

What I take issue with is the use of the unfortunately pervasive societal notion of moral and ethical ambiguity relative to individual context and interpretation, and that abandonment of everything and everyone for the sake of "finding oneself" is somehow acceptable. That the self is somehow the only thing that should matter. The whole of life is a challenge and a journey, and certainly not something that can be figure out in a short time. When one's self, and the aimless, misguided and completely selfish focus to find it supercedes all else, then one becomes far less worthy of occupying the status of human.

Writers Ryan Murphy and Jennifer Salt carry this relativistic flag of the self proudly throughout the entire movie as they move Liz Gilbert (Julia Roberts) from shameless Italian hedonism to Hindu meditation to finally what appears to be Balinese Universalism in a vain attempt to define herself.

Unfortunately for Liz, the only one of these pursuits to come close to bringing her peace is the glutonous stuffing of her face in Italy. But even then her loneliness keeps her from true happiness. By the time the movie hits denouement in Bali, the journey has apparently comes full circle to enlighten us that love defines self, not any kind of journey through place, religion or ideology.

So in the end, we are left with our main character forced to deal with her reluctance to commit which, wait, wasn't that how the movie began? Alas, such a clean resolution was ne'r to be found. So instead of the safe, adoring if slightly predictable Stephen (Billy Crudup), or quirky, emotive David (James Franco), we are supposed to think that the sultry Spanish passion of Javier Bardem was what Liz needed all along? The ultimate irony is that Javier Bardem's character depth comes from the exact same treatment of Liz to Stephen - the emotional scarring from a painful divorce in which he was abandoned. Otherwise they are eerily similar in terms of youthful outlook, spontaneity, and adoration for Liz.

If you are as confused by the last paragraph as I am, then you can catch a clear example of the singularly misguided nonsense that you would be forced to witness throughout this film. Instead of providing for us a character who perhaps realized that it isn't the places one visits, or the things one eats, or the God one prays to, it is love that balances her and was present all along, the writers continue to make excuses for her reckless abandonment. This is shamelessly evident in the shallow scene in which Liz is told her next step toward balance is "selflessness" and procures money for her birthday to be used for the Balinese Medicine woman who has become her confidant.

The writers not only attempt to sell Liz's plight, but in the end try to justify their foolishness with the idea that if you were to emmulate her, you too would be surrounded by adoring, sensitive and undeniably attractive people. The brief clips of all the people Liz has touched somehow better off for her decision to abandon them at the end was nothing but insult to already injured sensibilities.

Verdict = Don't waste your time.

Christian Faith and the Death of a Child

2011-04-12T14:05:00.009-05:00

Today a beautiful little two year old girl, and daughter of my friend, died.

Last Thursday she was fine, then before her mom and dad could blink, complications and surgery and finally stroke. Then gone in four days.

I can't express how deeply I feel for the family or how fervently they will be in our prayers. They have a long, hard road ahead.

Such a sudden and unexpected tragedy pummels my thoughts with two particularly heavy fists.

1. Christian Faith and Death
My Grandfather died a few weeks ago. It was a joyful celebration, not just of his amazing life, but primarily that, after 89 years, he was now sitting next to his Savior. He had completed the race his whole family was currently still running, and we can't all wait to see him soon. It was an easy death to not only understand, but feel.

In stark contrast, the death of this little girl, and the ensuing funeral, will be heartbreaking.

In my head, I can rationalize the fundamentals of my faith, and trusting in my God, I can type that this little girl is now even more fortunate that my grandfather. His race was an ultra, ultra marathon; hers a mere sprint. She didn't have to grow up to see how terrible this world can be, pervaded by sin. She is already where we all want to be, safely nestled from fear and pain in her Father's arms, surrounded by perfection and more love than we can ever fathom.

Yet, when I think about that little girl, and her family, and the life she no longer has, my heart aches, my stomach feels sick, and I can't keep the moisture from my eyes.

How can I begin to understand the loss her family feels? How can I attempt support and encouragement to them without having my words sound hollow and empty?
To tell them I am praying for them seems too simple and ubiquitous. But when I tell them to have confidence that even though they may never understand it, God's will is done, and he will always to good for those who love him, will I sound sincere when every fiber of my human self is struggling to come to terms with it?
There are so many things that seem so wrong about the death of someone so young and the effect it has on those still living. I know in my head I need to trust that God chose for this to happen for a thousand reasons we will never understand, but my heart is certainly not helping.

As usual, the Big Man speaks most poignantly to us when we need it most, and, no joke, my daily Bible study passage was from Proverbs 3. Verses 5 and 6 couldn't be more true in a situation as this, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

2. Losing a Child
This is the one that nobody can ever prepare you for. I think about my friend's daughter, and I can't help but instantly thinking of my son and how I would breath if I lost him.

No matter how stoic you were before, nor how impervious to emotion, once you have a child, everything changes.

At the writing of this post, I still haven't told my wife, but this morning when we heard the news of the stroke, we looked at each other and both almost broke down entirely at the thought of losing our boy.

I still won't be able to do justice to an explanation, but suffice it to say, that the depth and degree of a parents love for his or her child is so significant that it not only occupies, but dominates a portion of your being. The mere thought of losing that child elicit a physical reaction, much like I imagine it would feel to suddenly be without an arm or a leg, but more so, in that the very idea of sustaining breath becomes difficult to your very core.

I pray for many things today. Primarily for my friend and his family, that God will give them peace, and most of all a confidence that would seem impossible so soon. A confidence that their beautiful little girl has never looked so beautiful, been so happy, or been in a more perfect place, and that they will see her again so very soon.

I also pray with thankfulness for the health of my son. And if it is His will, that health stay with him. But if not, that he would give me the trust, faith and confidence that he decided to call our boy home, even though we may not ever be capable of fully understanding why.

After more than a year...

2011-04-09T10:42:00.002-05:00

...I have decided to return to type regular posts that will be read by maybe one of the six people who are actually following this blog.

The reasons are many, the time still lacking. But the goal this time around is not to determine style and tone, but to discuss that which is not only of particular interest to this author, but which tends to naturally elicit comment.

Agree if you will, disagree if you like, preferably in a respectful manner, particularly to each other.

Best laid plans and everything, not quite Sisyphean in nature, but we shall see how consistently I will manage to find the time to contribute more worthless drivel to the ever-growing vastness of the internet tubes.

Christmas looks a little different

2010-12-24T09:16:00.004-06:00

Thinking about Christmas's past, I am continuously astounded that the time leading up to Christmas seems to go by more quickly each year. When I was young, it seemed as though Christmas would never come. The anticipation and excitement made each day seem an eternity.

Now, be it a naturally progressing cynicism coupled with a frenetic day-to-day existence, Christmas seems to be increasingly deft at sneaking up with no appreciation for my holiday enjoyment.

One thing has changed this season however. It is the resounding, joyful and incessantly repetitive, "Ho, Ho, Ho" streaming from the lips of my 17 month old son.

He is so unbelievable excited for Christmas and the arrival of the jolly fat man, that one can't help but feel the holiday cheer. Like it or not, the impending Christmas festivities are once again something to feel and savor every day. Not just because his excitement leading up to it is palpable, but knowing that the look on his face when he sees his presents under the tree will be priceless, and the realization of our new family's holidays together, adds more significance to this holiday of family gathering and celebration than was ever possible even for the most exciting holidays of my youth.

Merry Christmas.

How not to promote your LinkedIn Group (A real-life example)

2010-03-12T10:33:00.003-06:00

Recently I was at the HIMSS show in Atlanta. Big Bang sponsored a booth in our first trade show entry into the unique world of healthcare IT. (More on healthcare in a different post)

There were two instances of surprise in terms of the social media experience.

The first was that there were surprisingly few people on Twitter. The show attendance was over 26,000, and yet there were maybe a hundred people making semi-frequent twitter updates. While at trade shows, I spend quite a bit of time monitoring the shows hashtag feed and work to establish connections and drive booth visitors. Typically at a medium size IT show, I can barely keep up with the feeds. HIMSS was surprisingly different.

The other social media surprise occured on the last day of the expo with about 20 minutes until show close. An individual representing a particular publication came by our booth and handed us a business card with the company's LinkedIn group on the back and warmly invited us to join the group.

As simple as this direct business card approach can be, I had not seen it employed in direct relation to specific social media groups. I thought it was effective and, once this person left, I sat down with my laptop, logged into my LinkedIn account and made the request to join the group.

I didn't think anything of it until several days later back in the office. I received an email from LinkedIn regarding the group request.

To my very great surprise - I was denied.

I instinctively performed the comical head tilt, raised one eyebrow and thought, "Hrmmm, Interesting".

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't close to being personally insulted or jaded for not being granted access. The thing most interesting to me was that the individual who had invited me was the same person to deny my group membership. It would be one thing if I or my company had nothing to do with healthcare IT or in other ways be unqualified for membership. But invitation aside, I am already a member of no less than 13 healthcare related IT groups which are all visible in my profile and our company was at HIMSS, which I referenced directly when requesting to join the group.

Needless to say, just when I thought someone was making great use of social networking, this individual forget the other, more important part of social media. It isn't about the quantity of connections, it's about the quality.

It you don't put in the work to cultivate and nurture the connection, why bother trying to make it?

A lot all at once

2010-01-16T11:16:00.003-06:00

As usual of late, the frequency of posts to this blog has decreased in direct proportion to the increasing age of my son. (Insert formula here)

One of the biggest reasons I have shy-ed away is my attachment to the dad-blogs group. Before you get your undergarments all in a bunch, the reason is that I haven't had anything to contribute, and therefore have not wanted to throw down some useless drivel (not that I am capable of anything but).

Before I became a father, I sought information of all kinds to help prepare me for what was to come, that included the perspectives of guys in the same position as I was and guys who were dads already.

Now that I am a father, the uncertainty and big black scary void of familiarity isn't there. Sure, I still have no idea what comes next and how to handle the ever changing sceneria of the development of life, but now that I have a child, it feels natural and brins with it a certain measure of confidence in being able to act accordingly to whatever might come up.

Perhaps down the road I will re-acclimate myself to the fine group of individuals that post their experiences on a weekly basis, but for now, I'm kind of digging keeping it all to myself.

The only thing that I will share, is that in spite of best intentions to stay active and make time for exercise, I packed on the new father 15 and as a result will be starting P90X on monday to get my sorry butt back in shape.

So if anyone has any advice for tackling the craziness that is P90X for the first time, I would appreciate it.

I'm measuring life's amazing moments by...

2009-10-23T16:20:00.004-05:00

Once upon a time, when I was single, young and foolish, the big moments in life revolved around exactly one thing.

ME!

Not that I was particularly conceited or selfish, it's just that moving out on my own, losing my virginity, turning 21, graduating college, buying my first car,; all were very singular, personal events that revolved entirely around me.

Enter the monumental occurrence at 6:05am CST this morning.

I awoke to the sounds of my 2 month old son talking to himself like he usually does when he wakes up in the morning to eat. I sat up, prepared to shake the cobwebs loose and go feed him before the quiet talking turned into the boistrous crying that, if he could speak, would scream, "Feed me now! Feed me now!(I take the early morning feeding because my wife is brilliant and takes the 3am feeding)

So my wife woke up as well to his noise, and turning to me whispered, "I didn't get up last night."

It took a moment for anything requiring conscious thought to sink in, but I suddenly realized to what she was referring, and got very, very excited.

My son slept through the night for the first time.

It was huge, it was monumental, it was...

an extremely odd feeling to be so wonderfully excited about something so seemingly insignificant.

Thus an example of how one's perspective changes so thoroughly when one has a child.

I still have my own exciting moments, my wife and I still have our own moments, but something like my son sleeping through the night joining the greatest moments list still blows me away.

It could of course be argued that this event still, in fact, did greatly revolve around me, as I will be benefiting greatly by the gift of uninterrupted sleep. (Assuming he decides to repeat last night's performance on a regular basis, but we are "Babywise" parents, so I hope so)

I also feel the need to mention that this event does not qualify on the list of "my kid is so cool and advanced and in the 207th percentile of everything perfect" realm of narcissistic parents. We have no idea what percentile anything he is. The doc says he's healthy, he's fat and he's happy-that's all that matters.

So anyway, still not sure why I got so excited for him, but this great event sure doesn't feel at all the same as those moments of my youth.

It feels much, much better.

I knew when I had a kid I would be busy, but...

2009-10-13T16:33:00.003-05:00

Ha.

That's all I can say to anyone who ever tried to tell anyone else what life would be like once you had your first child.

I love being a father, my son is amazing, by wife - more brilliant than ever.
But the reality is that you can't really understand what this kind of life is until you live it.

My son is almost as old as its been months since I updated this blog. That's right, over 2 months. Combine the stereotypical lack of time, lack of desire, and most importantly, lack of capable brain power to write anything even remotely nearing legibility.

I think that so many people tried to paint the picture for me, tried so hard to say, "imaging this and then imaging ten degrees beyond that, and maybe you can imagine being a parent"

They still didn't come close.

I must reiterate. My son is amazing. He eats, he sleeps, he's content as hell, and smiles like crazy. Aside from needing the occasional IV of caffeine, this first two months has been a heck of a lot easier than I would have imagined.

But it still is so vastly different than anything else I had ever experienced, that any and all attempts by those who meant well to portray just how it would be fell so short of the reality.

I fancy myself the sort to be able to adjust to most anything and in relatively short order. So much so that I think I want to write a book.

I think that it should be possible to explain how the once stoic heart will at times completely disolve when it stares down at it's infant son. I think one should be able to understand that your body will be deprived of sleep for at least the first 48 hours and even though you never thought you could go such a stretch and function, let alone still be alive, you do and you love it. And more than anything else, thinking about the things that will effect you, trying to paint a mental image of just how it will be, how you will react, and even how you might feel, still doesn't even come close to the complete, absolute, entire, whole, engulfing way it makes you see life in an entirely different way.

Once you stand in front of a mirror in a hospital gown one minute after your wife has been wheeled off for an emergency cesarean section after 30+ hours of no sleep and 10 hours of hard labor, every single thing you ever thought or cared about instantly disappears and you pray like you've never prayed before for one, and only one thing -

the health of your wife and child.

I could go on and on, but I think that I will save the rest for the book. It has literally been the single most amazing experience in my life.

I just maybe could have used a heads up to prepare myself a little better. Maybe I will be able to get a few choice tidbits down in written form so some other prospective new dad can have a little better handle on what to expect.

Can't promise when the next post will be, but based on the rapidly dwindling readership over the last two absent months, not too many people will be holding their breath.

All...Most...There

2009-08-07T14:18:00.004-05:00

As I finish chatting with Shankrabbit, I start to understand why I have been so unproductive the last few days.

My wife is ready to pop any minute.

After all the mental adjustment, baby room preparation and thinking through how I want to raise my son, the end is here.

And as I think about the anticipation, the excitement, I realize that I am having a hard time thinking about much else.

This bothers me only insofar as I really detest being unproductive, especially at work. I believe a man can measure himself not by what he thinks he is, but what what he does.

The only concession to this is that I am about to have my first child, and I am forcing myself to give me just a little break when coming to terms with the anticipation.

I know I will be able to adjust and get my focus back once he's here. Even though I will be getting far less sleep (so I'm told), it won't be a matter of waiting any longer, but doing- adjusting and adapting to care for my child.

Heh, even as I try to wrap this post up, I drift off and think about getting the call from Garvey and hearing those magic words from her brilliant mouth, "Honey, It's Time"

Hopefully the next time we meet, I will have changed my first poopy diaper ever (To be followed immediately by several thousand more)

"Da Dada da, the Final Countdown"

2009-07-10T16:10:00.003-05:00

I know I have violated the cardinal rule of blogging-consistency, by not posting for fatherhood friday in almost a month, but I already justified myself here so if you really want to bore yourself, read it.

Bye the way, you are welcome for getting that God-awful Europe song of a title stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

Now that the warm friendly greeting is out of the way, as of the end of this week, we are less than 6 weeks away from the much anticipated arrival of our son. According to my wife it's actually going to be less than five weeks because apparently she has arranged an agreement with him in utero that if he comes a week early, she will buy him anything he wants. She said he agreed so we'll see what happens.

In any event, this crunch time feeling has beat me about the head and shoulders in the last week. For the last couple of months, we have hit a bit of a lull in terms of "expectancy". Sure we were still excited, yes my wife's belly has gradually increased it's protuberance, but overall we kind of got used to the idea.

Now that things are so frickety close to finishing, the anxiousness, excitement and "Holy Hell" sentiments are making themselves known up front and center.

We aren't freaking out at all, that's not how we roll. We are seriously looking forward to this and can't wait to meet the little tumor, but all of a sudden it just feels so much more real than it has since we first saw the ultrasound and listened to his heartbeat. Besides, this is so going to be my son-lol

I think it has everything to do with the length of time it takes to cook a child. I mean, ten months is a long time for anything. So after the initial excitement wears off, there is a long period of time for one to get used to the idea.

It helps that we have been fortunate enough that Garvey has had a flawless pregnancy. Everything has been super healthy from the start. Couple that with her fierce independence (she was outside gardening all day last week, and yesterday I came home to her on a step ladder wet sanding drywall compound-now you know why her psuedo-superhero name is "Silly Girl"

Now the race is almost at an end. Soon all the anticipation will conclude in a bloody, gross little screaming ball of effluence - and I can't wait.

In the meantime, I just need to squeeze in a few extra rounds of golf.

Knock Knock anyone there?

2009-07-09T12:37:00.006-05:00

Well I knew it had been quite a while since my last post. But I didn't think it was almost a month.

While the usual excuses apply; work, prepping the house for the little sir, summer time obligation, writing the Uncorked Wine Column for onMilwaukee.com, freelance work, golf.

I can't feel too badly about it. Not that you were clamoring to read this drivel three times a week before, but better to only post when there is something worthwhile to discuss.

"If you can't blog decent content, you shouldn't blog at all" Unfortunately that adage falls under the great in theory model but as witnessed by a vast majority of inane regurgitation on the interwebz, we know it's only a dream.

What hasn't happened in the last month?

Well you can be relieved that I will most definitely NOT add fodder to the already capsizing ship of Michael Jackson mania. Any more needless cargo weight and we would have to start offing ourselves, following suit with the two dozen or so wack-jobs worldwide who ended their lives the minute they found out Jackson's was over. But unlike their insane grief stricken imputi, our headlong leap from the stern into shark infested waters would be purely to put an end to our suffering of this global farce.

Vive le Tour de France - Go Lance

6 weeks and counting until fatherhood. Must...play...more...golf.

So much more trivial nonsense. None of it worth continuing this already too-random post.

We shall see whether or not I am back to keep with my blog schedule.

Never know, never can tell.

Bets anyone?

There's a Mutant in There!

2009-06-12T09:08:00.002-05:00

Garvey and I always joke about the silly nicknames that everyone has for their infants. Well, not all of them, some actually are naturally derived and very fitting. But come on people, how many different "Peanuts" and "Monkeys" and "Princess'" do you know? I can count at least 5. It's almost as though the naming process became twice as difficult. First there is the actual given name that goes on the birth certificate, then there is the nickname/oh-so-cute-name.

I understand the need to refer to this little bundle in some cute, fond little way. Is it just that peanuts and monkeys are the most popular terms of diminutive endearment? What makes peanuts so cute anyway?

I mention this because two names have begun to escape my mouth with more regularity as I "talk" to my son in utero. They are absolutely accurate descriptors of my child...

And Garvey thinks I am going to give him a complex.

I call him "Mutant" and "Spaz" Why?

Because at many, MANY times during the day, particularly in the morning, or right before Garvey goes to sleep, or humorously enough-right when we enter church on Sundays, my son absolutely FREAKS OUT.

I'm not talking about a little twitching or some subtle moving. He literally bounces off the walls of Garvey's uterus. "Dance Party" is the worst. That's what she calls the time right before bed because for 5-10 straight minutes he flips and kicks and plays bongos on her bladder and sticks his little feet right up under her ribs. He's a total spaz. Hence the derived pseudonym.

The other one is mutant, and for all the obvious reasons. Not only are images like the foot common, but whenever he starts to go crazy, it conjures up images of John Hurt in "ALIEN" just before the baby alien bursts from his stomach

It's funny as hell to watch. If there is a loud movie, or a group of people around, he starts jumping all over the place like he wants to come out and play. I in no way want to ascribe too many conscious motivating thoughts to my -10week old, because that would make me just as bad as those crazy animal people who anthropomorphize their pets as substitutes for normal human interaction-and that would make me even stranger than I already am.
But its hard not to think like that when he hasn't moved in some time, I place my big warm daddy hand on her stomach and start talking to him and he start kicking my hand like crazy. Then I take my hand away and it stops. So FRICKIN' WEIRD-I love it.

So anyway, I seriously doubt that the nicknames "Mutant" and "Spaz" will last after he is born, but for now they are totally fitting. I guess if we have a nickname of any kind, we will have to wait and see what he is like. Maybe something will naturally fall into place. If not, we picked his name for a reason.

But, if he's anything like his dad, he'll end up with some name like "Freak Boy" (but not that one exactly, because that's what his mom already calls me)

2009-05-29T21:42:00.002-05:00

Happy Fatherhood Friday to everyone. If you haven't checked out the other crazy fools over at dad-blogs.com, the you are missing out.

This week marks week 28. That's right only three more months until the little man comes.

The newest development is pretty damn amusing actually. It's that crazy thing that happens when her mom and my mom start to position themselves for grandmotherly duties.

A quick background for better understanding. Our parents don't really ever spend time together. The wedding... and well, that's about the last time I think I saw the four of them in the same room.

In one corner with the dark specs and the Eddie Bauer sweatshirt:
Her mom is great, super salt of the earth, doesn't impose, supports from behind the scenes. And although as neurotic as any mother-in-law, is plenty easy to get along with in bursts of three hours or less.

In the other corner with the crazy hair and more shoes than Imelda Marcos:
My mother-easily one of the most warm, caring loved-by-everyone-she-meets people you will ever see. Yet an absolute space-case when it comes to any sort of practicality or pragmatic thinking. And also great as long as you don't exceed the three hour rule.

So we are planning our baby shower which will be for couples and kids, family and friends. The way we roll, we don't want any games or themes or decorations. We like things simple, but well thought out and practical at the same time. So my mother and father have been gracious enough to host at their house. Meanwhile my wife is pulling her hair out trying to get my mother to understand that she doesn't need to worry about anything, let alone matching paper plates and napkins. We have tried to make things as easy as possible for her, provided a list upon request of the simple fare (burgers, brats, beer) offering any and all help, but also wanting things to be simple for that we can enjoy the day as well. Yet there seems to still be a disconnect.

Her mother on the other hand, is just waiting in the wings but offering to buy us the crib and changing table. She is playing the reserved position, seemingly waiting to see what happens and then swooping in as the winner. Plus she knows that all she really has to do is let my mother slip up, because my mother in law will be babysitting the little dude four days a week so she knows she has the upper hand.

My mother undoubtedly has stocked up on enough clothes to fit three boys for their entire life spans, despite the fact that we have already told her that we have so many clothes from family and friends we don't know what to do with them all. And she is already vying for one day a week to drive the hour into town to watch him.

So now the mother's-in-law are going to collaborate on the remaining party plans, even though there is nothing left to plan.

I would have thought my mom would have been all settled in to this grandmother thing. It's not like ours will be the first grandchild after all. But I guess my mom doesn't have any competition with my niece-no grandma present to jockey for position on her side.

I keep telling Garvey that this madness is only the beginning. The two grandmas are going to have to start meeting regularly and get on the same page. Although the thought of those crazy birds and some alcohol makes me want to live in Canada, and I don't know why anyone would want to live in Canada.

So far the drama has been pretty mild, but being preggo, Garvey is a bit more susceptible than she was before. So we will have to see the outcome of the baby shower. After that, maybe we have to get the grandfathers involved to settle their wives down if things start to get out of control. We wouldn't want it to come to this, now would we?

It's only going to get more interesting as time goes on and he gets older.
Meh, what did we get ourselves into?

Will the Decision maker in the room please stand up, please stand up

2009-05-22T09:39:00.005-05:00

Happy FF everyone. If you haven't been over to dad-blogs.com yet, make your you check out all the other great posts.

This week has been an interesting one for Garvey and I. As she approaches 7 months preggo, we have been slow to understand a very interesting new phenomenon in our relationship.

To set the background, and fully perpetuate our geek status, for years we have had alter-ego's in the form of "The Amazing Adventures of Freak Boy and Silly Girl". It all came about many years ago after we realized that I told her she was "so silly" all the time and she appropriately called me "freak" just as much if not more.

So as the years of dating, engagement, marriage and now impending parenthood have progressed, there have been all sorts of adventures for we two not-so-costumed super heroes.

We have talked about, but never wanted to fully commit to this little nerotic game by actually creating a comic strip on paper, but have chatted about all the nuances that constitute our relationship and how that plays into our little game.

One of the biggest "anti-matters" or "kryptonite" or insert-your-favorite-villainous-influence here, is our mutual inability to make decisions of the menial kind. When it comes to home, budget, health, family, and most importantly us-we talk and think and make decisive moves to save our little Metropolis from doom and peril.

But when it comes to where to sit in a movie theater, how to spend an afternoon off, or most commonly-what to do for dinner, neither of us can ever decide on what to do.

Ask any of our friends and family-we are notorious. Now I can tell you that this lack of decision making ability comes clearly from the facts that Jen and I enjoy so many different cuisines and styles of food, that we usually can't make up our minds as to which we want. We never don't make a decision because we are worried about wanting to do what the other person wants-we don't play like that. Legitimately, we just can't make up our collective minds. Admittedly with friends and family we do concede to their desires out of deference and or courtesy, but that's just good manners.

So after all this, the reason that things have become so different, is that at 7 months preggo, not only can Silly Girl not make up her mind on what she wants, she (the insatiably and brilliantly independent girl she is)is suddenly wanting me to step up and just do things.

She doesn't care what I make for dinner (although recently she has not wanted much asian, which we usually eat quite a bit of)she doesn't care where we sit or what we do, she just wants to not have to think about any of it.

Again, for the big things, I'm all over it, I take the responsibility of being an awesome super-hero husband very seriously. But I have been so used to our little game of back and forth, process of elimination to see what we end up doing, that having Silly Girl actually DEPEND on me for decisions has been an adjustment.

I suppose its really great practice though. In three short months, I will have the newest addition to our super-hero family be completely dependent on me for many years.

In the meantime, Freak Boy needs to stand up and make the little decisions for Silly Girl so she can focus on her newest and greatest super power-growing a baby.

Chief Master Specialist Sergeant Master Chief what?

2009-05-20T19:57:00.005-05:00

I was subjected to a culture on tuesday that we all know about, talk about, see on the news, but unless you have family in it, have been in it, or at least been around it, have probably very little clue just how super-unique it is.

Da Da DA!

The Armed Forces.

I just got home from a quick one day tech expo representing Big Bang LLC and the Universal Imaging Utility at Scott Air Force Base in southern Illinois. Aside from having to spend 12 hours driving in a 28 hour time frame (although thankfully the weather was beautiful and the driving quite pleasent), it was a quick and dirty look at the inner workings of a military base.

First their was security. The base itself is really big, I can't even begin to guess how many square miles, and I didn't even get to see the airfield. They have whole housing "suburbs" for certain people who stay on base all the time. Dry Cleaners, laundry, grocery, you name it, logistically it's like its own little world.

In order to gain access to this strange little world, I had to provide credentials a week ahead of time so that I could be issued a visitor badge. No one gains access to the base without an ID or visitors badge. Don't have one? Take your chances with the smiling pleasant guards at the gate with M-16's slung over their shoulder.

After admittance into the base, you begin to get a glimpse of the civilized structure that at least I was ignorant of.

When I had envisioned enlisted service men and women, I thought of soldiers, grunts, officers commanding grunts all running around training for war. I knew some of those soldiers had to work on the equipment and machinery that the other soldiers used to train with, but or some reason that's as far as it went.

The reality is that, just like any large coroporation or organization, people are needed to take care of and attend to everything neccessary to make the whole function.
That means stewards, cooks, accountants, attache, clerks, secretaries, tailors, dry cleaners, and lots and lots of computer geeks.

Once you can actually wrap your head around the fact that there are people doing everyhing everyone else is doing out in the real world, only sequestered in this little microcosm, the real difficulty is trying to keep track of what rank and file everyone belongs to.

Each bar and stripe and chevron denotes a different level of rank and seniority, and from the looks of it, rank and seniority means everything.

I was especially privy to this, because they cut the tech expo short because a general was retiring and they needed the officer's club section we were occupying.

Just when I began discerning between Technical Sergeants and Master Sergeants on the arm patches, in walks all kinds of shiny metal on collars and breast mounts.

It's pretty interesting to think about what it would be like to live in such an environment.

I don't think that I can really begin to understand, but I certainly appreciate wholeheartedly the efforts and service of the countless patriots in the armed services.

I feel a great deal of respect for these soldiers, and I am thankful that they fight for this country so that dorks like me can blog about what it might be like in the military.

Good luck to all those in the Middle East-we thank you and we hope to see you home soon.

"Your Life is over as you know it"

2009-05-15T21:56:00.004-05:00

It's funny how many people tell me, "Your life will be over as you know it once you have a child." They tell you to sleep while you can, go out as much as possible, I've even had a couple of dads tell me to drink like a fish because when the boy comes I will suddenly have to be all responsible.

The statements always make me shake my head.

It's actually a pretty ridiculous notion if you think about it. "Your life will be over as you know it."

Uh, Duh.

Isn't your life over as you know it for every major event that happens in your life?

Graduate college-my life as a student is over

Get married-my life as a single man is over

Buy a home-my life as a renter is over

Change careers-my life in restaurants is over

Have a baby-no different

Why do they make such a big, drama-queen deal about having a kid.

I have been thinking about it lately and I keep coming up with two major parts to it.
The first is that perhaps if these parents were either not totally ready, or heaven forbid, the kind that actually lament having a child, then they may be a little reticent about their life prior to diapers. I think neither is any kind of real justification for silly comments such as, "Dude, you will never have a life again."

How is it that these people haven't stepped up and embrace parenthood? Granted Garvey and I planned on our first, we bought a home and things progressed wonderfully for us in the direction of parenthood, but all these people making comments with clear insinuation that they really miss the good old non-parent days just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

The other part to this is what Garvey and I have already spent a lot of time discussing. In our minds, the way we can be the best parents for our son, is by being the best individuals and married couple we can be.

We have already set up the days of the month for date nights. We have arranged our work schedules so that we each have a day alone with the boy, we have at least one whole day together with him, and we each have a few hours a week for ourselves.

I understand fully that the first few months are going to be crazy as hell with adjusting to feedings and working on establishing sleep schedules etc., but we want to make sure that we are thinking about all the things we can possibly do to make sure that we never even think for a second that life was better before hand.

"Your life is over as you know it" is applicable to every thing that happens in your life, from the mundane to the monumental. It's what life is all about, moving past certain point, letting go of certain things, learning and growing.

And in every step you gain so much more than you could have ever thought you lost.

It may be time for an intervention

2009-05-12T15:50:00.003-05:00

I posted last night to Twitter and Facebook simultaneously via the magic of TweetDeck, "My wife just gave me small eyes for being on Twitter during baby class."

When we got home from the class and sat down to watch a little television, I fired up the laptop to work on next week's Uncorked wine column for onMilwaukee.com and of course-check my twitter correspondence.

I looked at my wife and razzed her a little bit for giving me "small eyes", although admitting that baby class was not really an appropriate place to monitor my pockettwit feeds. I even made a joke about tweeting the birth of our first son live from the Labor and Delivery Room. That comment definitely elicited more "small eyes"

She proceeded to tell me how I had become "One of those" people, with my phone always in my hand, checking emails, tweeting, adding events to my calendar.

I didn't believe it at first. I was incredulous and indignantly stated, "No way, I'm hardly on my phone at all, and I don't touch it all day long."

Two things made me re-evaluate my thoughts, the first was my realization that the only reason I don't touch my phone all day, is that I have Tweetdeck and Digsby running, maintaining a total of 5 social networking applications all at the same time. The second and more convincing, was the collection of responses to my facebook post, particularly from my brother and sister in law. And I quote, "Was she surprised? I wouldn't have been. That phone is permanently attached to your hand. LOL ;)"

I am still convinced that I am not a twitter or facebook junkie. I only update my facebook status once or twice a week and ignore every single application that usually keeps most people addicted. Depending on the news volume or networking quality on Twitter, I only post once or twice a day on average.

I also know for a fact that the phone usage does not interfere or interrupt my communications with other people. I pride myself in being skilled in interpersonal communication. Undivided attention for the speaker.

But perhaps I am connected not too much, but unfortunately as much as most people dependent on their phones and PCs for information. All my email and contacts, my calendar and text messaging are all located in that little mobile device. I am incapable of knowing what tomorrow holds, let alone next week, without checking my outlook calendar. First thing I do in the morning? Check my email. Last thing I do before bed? Check my email. It's not like the messages won't be waiting for me in the office.

Needless to say, I won't be tweeting live from my child's birth. There are too many personal experiences in life that should stay that way-his birth an example of one of them. However, this paradigm shift is unfortunately what I am all too aware of after my wife's haranguing-modern technology creates an all-too-easy milieu for people to say too much about too little.

The significance and depth of experiences and relationships has been reduced to a status update for your 400+ "friends" to read or 140 characters across a narcissistic playground.

When it's time to answer a critical email, or schedule an event on my calendar, great. But unless I'm bored waiting for a plane or am sitting by myself with no one better to actually talk to, I won't be wasting the time to try vainly to "talk" to someone who can't really "listen".

Or perhaps I should just do what a friend of mine did when his wife started needling him for spending time on his phone-buy her one.

Moms Nest, Dads...?

2009-05-08T12:25:00.003-05:00

This week something very strange happened to me, something I can only equate to the vague concept of "nesting".

This whole week has been one day after another of landscaping, painting, planning for the next project, multiple trips to the hardware stors, and more painting.

As soon as I get home from work, I shovel food in my face and get back to whatever home-improvement project I was working on the night before.

What has been strange about the whole process, is not that I am suddenly motivated to prepare the house for the baby, or finish the projects so that I don't have to worry about them when I won't have the time after he's born.

What has been odd, is that I have really felt good about it.

Don't get me wrong, I not only never complain, I enjoy the responsibility that comes with home ownership, and I feel pride and accomplishment in improving my house and making things look great.

This new feeling is way different, and I can't relate it to anything other than what I vaguely understand of "nesting". I feel invigorated, eager, and happy on a whole different level when I am carefully running a bead of paint on the crease between the wall and the ceiling at 1am with a shop light casting weird shadows.

I can't help but think that this new little man has somehow not only elevated my sense of responsibility to provide for he and his mother, but made me feel really good about it-and he is still three months away.

Not exactly sure how better to describe it. It's not just the desire to do these things-that has always been there. But rather, the joy? excitement? (i don't know what other adjectives may apply) on a different plane than I have experienced to date.

Can anyone relate to this and help me understand it?

"Bi-Partisan Parenting" or "Two Naive Soon-to-be parents who think they can figure things out ahead of time but at least agree on everything"

2009-05-01T12:18:00.005-05:00

It's FF again and the list keeps getting bigger. I'm finding that if I don't post in the AM, I get to almost #40. All that means is that there is a lot of great content in those dad-blogs and it gets hard to read them all. Plus, the brother Shankrabbit decides to get a jump on things and posts at 12:14AM- *cough* overachiever.

Garvey and I have been swapping parenting books for the last few months. She has been good enough to mark certain things that are most applicable for a father, because after the first three in their entirety, I don't need another refresher on the biology and what happens in the womb ever week.

She is currently reading "On Becoming Babywise" (previous post) which I am excited to talk to her about once she is done. One thing that we have both been excited about though after all our reading, talking to friends and family and talking to each other, is that we are so completely on the same page when it comes to how we want to raise our little man.

It didn't really hit me until this morning as we were both getting ready for work. We were brushing out teeth in front of the mirror (we fortunately have a dual sink counter) and I looked at her and her cute little baby belly and said, "I think I would feel a whole lot less excited about having this baby if we weren't so on the same page."

Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to meet my son no matter what, but knowing that Garvey and I will tackle this from the same mindset takes away so much of the worry.
I mean, what would happen if she and I thought very differently about how to raise him? We not only would have to worry about what's best for him, but constantly go back and forth along the way trying to figure out how to compromise.

Adjusting to impeding fatherhood is a big enough paradigm shift; I can't imagine having to do it without someone who feels the same way you do. A unified parenting front if you will.

It's going to be a wonderful journey and experience, and knowing that we think the same about something as important as child-rearing makes me even more excited.

Best Buy, Best Business

2009-04-30T16:18:00.004-05:00

Having worked for fairly large corporations most of my career, I have been plenty used to the rigors of company policy. Manager meetings, budget meetings, GM/Chef meetings, paid time off, progress reports, or 50+ hours on the schedule; these things are the norm for many a corporation.

Not so with my current, and if I have anything to say about it, indefinite, place of employment. Our company, albeit small, is not alone in a progressive, production-based work place structure. In fact, the best-seller "Why Work Sucks and How to Fix It" by Cali Ressler and Jody Thompson has been fully implemented and phenomonally successful with companies as large as Best Buy.

The gist is this:
No more senseless meetings
No more contests to see who gets into work first or who works longest
No more begging for time off or Vacation pay determined down to the half second
No more ridiculous 60/70/80+ hour work weeks leaving no life

Basically, this results-based approach means that as long as pre-established business goals are achieved, the employee is free to work whenever and from wherever they are most productive.

The program at Best Buy has been in place for over four years and has been so successful that it made the cover of Business Week.

I can't speak from personal experience as the success at Best Buy, but I can tell you how liberating it is to work for a company that employs the same business practices.

I don't have a schedule. My only set-in-stone appointments are Trade Shows that I have to travel for. I don't have a set number of vacation days.

I determine the pace and flow of my workload. Financial goals and business objectives need to be met. How I go about meeting them, or ideally exceeding them, is entirely up to me.

It has been a life altering experience for me, scratch that, it has given me a life for the first time. With the normal stresses of changing careers, buying our first home and expecting our first child, it's amazing how gracefully those big life events slide together when you don't have to worry about waking up every morning with that hollow sick feeling in your stomach as you dread the day at work ahead.

Instead, I am excited to get to work. If I am feeling less than productive on a particular day, I feel naturally motivated to pick up the slack the next day. Especially with a small company, I feel that everything I do can have a real and positive effect on the success of our business and the viability of my employment.

The beauty of it is that this is a natural result of how I feel at work. I am not pushed or prodded to perform- I WANT to be as productive as I can. Having the freedom to do this for myself is immeasurable.

This post is not to gloat about how awesome my job is as the Marketing Director at Big Bang LLC, rather, highlight the possibilities of a results-based work environment. "Why Work Sucks" is a great read and even if your company doesn't have the desire for full implimentation, there are a lot of great ideas that can make the workplace better for everyone.

Fear Mongering Media

2009-04-28T15:01:00.006-05:00

This Tuesday culture post wasn't going to be any kind of soapbox rant, but after having to shut off all news feeds and even twitter yesterday, I felt compelled.

I don't even want to mention the words that have been unfortunately the only topic of discussion for the last 48 hours. Needless to say, with the ability of the media to now saturate the online, air and TV waves, the dissemination of information is so quick that unless you actually remove yourself, you will be invariably be inundated with endless drivel.

The cause for concern is not that this type of media has only surfaced in the last decade or so, but that the clever, subversive and instantaneous nature of it so imbues the minds of the common man, that like many things "mainstream" completely negates man's ability to think rationally for himself.

Take a moment to view this "Pig Flu Propaganda" video from 1976.

Aside from the antiquated messaging, this is obviously not the first time something like this has come to the United States. The only real difference is the degree to which the new messaging is intended to infiltrate the minds of the masses without causing immediate panic.

You'll notice that with modern media, there have been no messages of mass hysteria, no constant urging to stock the bomb shelter and seal off the house.

No, the messaging is somber, serious and worst of all-constant. There isn't anything else worth talking about. There isn't anything else that could possibly be more important for the average TV viewer to watch.

This oh-so-clever tactic gives the very distinct impression that the sheer volume and constancy of of coverage demands that the message must be worth all the hype. Talk about it with everyone you know, spread it on Twitter, FB and every other form of digital networking, and for heaven's sake, don't bother to actually do any research-Shut your mind and spread the word.

That is the key to the modern fear driven media campaign. It keeps people from actually thinking for themselves, questioning the news and media and having intelligent conversations.

This latest media focus is only the next thing in line, and certainly won't be the last.

If you watch the news or get feeds online, stop and actually think about it before you perpetuate the viral spread of ridiculous news.

Don't feed the beast.

Saturating the Interwebz

2009-04-23T15:58:00.004-05:00

The company I work for, Big Bang LLC, developed this incredible software five years ago called the Universal Imaging Utility (UIU). This past week we received the US Patent for the technology behind it.

In order to drive sales and continue to propagate the brand, I issued another press release highlighting the patent and its significance.

Whenever I distribute a press release online, I always wonder two things:
-Who actually takes the time to read it?
-Even if I have an extraordinarily well crafted, pertinent press release, with all the seemingly infinite propaganda hitting the web every day, what can I do to make sure mine gets picked up by the people I want it to?

To compound all of these questions is the large sums required to have such sites as PRWeb, PR Newswire, BusinessWire, etc. publish your release. These sites will typically return some analytics for you, but the kicker is that not all of them will let you embed a trackable URL to keep them honest.

To bad the webernet doesn't have the capacity for good old fashion PR work. If I could get a hold of the webmasters or editors of a particular site, I could begin to groom them and pitch a story that I think would be worthwhile for the reader.

Of course with the gazillion sites out there, I would never have time to cultivate that many relationships. As it is, it's difficult enough to follow up with the 6 or so journalists and reporters locally that I am working with.

So it all comes back to variable analytics. I honestly didn't mean to blog about this topic again, but it looks like trying to track the extent of my press release saturation invariably brought me 'round again.

With the trackable URL I am at least able to see how many people opened the entire release and from that clicked through to the landing page. But in terms of individual hits on sites that actually posted the release in full? PRWeb calls that "full read". Uh huh, whatever.

So I guess just like most things branding related, it's about getting the word out there. I just wish I knew the most effective way to beat someone about the head and shoulders with my messaging AND get them to actually enjoy it.

Too bad I don't have the budget for all those fancy-schmancy tracking programs. At least then when the company I am paying for the information makes it up, I have someone to blame.

What has this country come to, when a guy can't...

2009-04-22T09:40:00.006-05:00

even Tweet in peace anymore?

Two days ago, Oprah Winfrey made her debut on Twitter. Yes, you read me correctly.

Your immediate response should have been, "Uh, yeah-so what?"

Unfortunately, the world we live in is governed by higher power that is out of our control.

In case you wanted a name to place on this new millennium god, its called...

MAINSTREAM MEDIA

Oh don't worry, I won't be ranting about fear-driven media, Hollywood or anything else that can be construed as unfounded drivel. I will point out a few interesting facts and let you, my above average-intelligence reader, make all your own conclusions.

As an avid twitter user (almost exclusively for business networking) I won't get on a soapbox and come off as one of those whiners going on about the innate purity and "cool-original-user-club" that used to be twitter, but I will draw parallels to many other new emerging applications or technologies that have gone, or are going the way of Twitter-

I case you hadn't heard, Ashton Kutcher and CNN were on a race to see who could get 1 million followers first. Of course Ashton won (not that CNN would have been a better choice). He even resorted to old school advertising to boost the message. Allegedly an obsessed twitterer, Kutcher is actually using twitter for some pretty legitimate reasons, one of which dispelling silly tabloid gossip rumors.

Oprah on the other hand, took a burgeoning social media application and did to it what she does to every other thing she puts her name/brand behind--threatened to destroy any ounce of real quality and legitimacy it may have contained. After Oprah signed on to Twitter, traffic on the site jumped 43%! And over 35% of that was first time users. Just to compare, the social media benchmark-Facebook, only had an 8% increase for the entire month.

It's hard to hold true to my word of not spouting off like a pedantic fool, but the overwhelming phenomenon that is Oprah Winfrey makes some interesting concerns apparent.

What does it say about the United States when one persons opinion about a book, a psychiatric professional, a Pomegranate Martini, Twitter, or anything else for that matter, can in one fell swoop change the legitimacy, credibility, popularity or even quality of it?

One word pops into my head at the moment---

Sheep.

Learning Parenting Lessons Already

2009-04-17T13:53:00.002-05:00

This last week has caused Garvey and I to learn two very quick lessons when it comes to impending parenthood.

The first unfortunately made us do an abrupt about-face in terms of our general optimism and faith in basic human goodness. Well, not quite that severe, but let's just say in naivete, that we never thought we would have to worry about it.

Lesson #1
Don't tell anyone the name you have decided for your child before he/she is born-NO ONE.
(Before Shankrabbit's vein in his forehead explodes, I have to give him credit, he did warn me ahead of time not to tell anyone-but does big brother ever listen?)
We heard what he had to say, but Garvey and I thought that no one's opinion was going to sway us anyway. So why wouldn't we tell people when they asked?

Needless to say, we didn't think of the other possible response and, ultimately, the one we last expected. This caused us to change our minds to not tell anyone the name of our son until he is born because two people very close to us floored us by expressing tremendous distaste at the selection we made.

Maybe it's just me, but when someone you care about tells you something as significant as the name they have labored long and hard over, looking at them like the name they chose was the dumbest thing they've ever heard isn't cool. It won't sway us for a minute, but I don't want to have to see Garvey's face again when her to-remain-nameless family member cringed and said, "I will not be calling him by the shortened version, I hate that name."

Lesson #2
The other big lesson I learned after Tuesday's post was never, ever, ever even insinuate, allude to, or in the vaguest of vagaries come even close to talking about another parent's parenting choices.

I haven't, and I won't, hell, I'm not even a parent. But I also won't put any more baby book reviews up either, lest it be misconstrued as an affront, which of course is farthest from my intent.

I guess I'm a little jaded on this beautiful sunny Friday. I was just getting used to this weird new club of parenthood that I was automatically inducted into by the mere virtue of expecting a child. You know the one - where complete strangers and people you would otherwise never speak to suddenly and perpetually open up to you and you find yourself talking "kids" for hours even if you don't want to?

Well, now it seems that there is a certain measure of guardedness and fake smiles that go with this club. And I'm pretty sure I don't like it.

I'm used to saying what I see. If we disagree about something, that's fine, that's what being different is. We can still be awesome friends even if we have a difference of opinion on TV shows, beer preference, or even *gasp* what time we put our kids to bed.

But this whole "keep-your-comments-to-yourself" unwritten rule when it comes to parenting is leaving me a little confused today. Doesn't it make way more sense to talk about what works and what doesn't so we can all be better parents?

Anyone have any valuable insights for the momentarily perplexed father-to-be?

Optimize This!

2009-04-16T09:18:00.004-05:00

Now that I am in the middle of revamping a third web site, I have begun to wonder just how effective the copy and graphics adjustments have been.

After all the analytics, metrics, URL referring sites, links, adwords, and desperate attempts to find and incorporate those perfect Google keywords, how am I really supposed to tell how effective my site is? Am I fully SEO'd?

It seems that it's kind of reminiscent of statistics as a whole. You can pretty much massage the numbers and get the stats to say anything you need them to.

Even if I measure page views, clickthroughs, time spent on each page, page to page links, trial downloads per visit, sales per trial, etc. etc. etc., the whole process is not only trial and error, but something like trying to shoot at a target with a blindfold on.

Before I launch a new landing or trial page, I test it out on co-workers, friends and family, but that feedback, as much as I tell them to look at it for 3 seconds and tell me what they remember objectively, is always somewhat biased. And let's get real, I think there are a million more important feedback ideas from beta customers more essential to the product then what they thought of the landing page way back when.

So I think that the real frustration comes in having to exercise intelligent manipulation without having any real concrete, quantifiable data to back up the Machiavellian marketing and advertising assertions. There is no direct cause and effect.

My ad spend was x and sales increased by y = any one of a thousand possibilities.

And just when you thought I was going to actually complain about this, I am going to flip it on you and tell you that is what I love about Marketing/Advertising.

Nothing like a constantly nagging, never ending, perpetual void to try and fill with tweaks, new graphics, new landing pages. For a perfectionist and ADHD guy like me, constantly moving and manipulating possible reactions and opinions is a virtual playground.

Not only that, but if no one knows exactly where the new sales are coming from, who better to take the credit than the Marketing/Advertising team-right?

Just Kidding Boss.

A million and one baby books

2009-04-14T13:04:00.002-05:00

This Tuesday's art/music/lit/film/culture post is all about my departure from the usual literary rotation to a full blown immersion into the piles of baby books that we now have.

I think my wife bought three- The Mayo Clinic "A Healthy Pregnancy", and of course "What to expect when you're expecting" (Can't remember the last one)

We now have a stack of almost 15 books given or lent to us by friends and family. My wife's approach has been an admirable one. She is methodically wading through three to four similarly topic-ed books to determine what information may be most useful. It's interesting how disparate some of the information is. One book indicates that you won't be able to feel your baby move until 20+ weeks while another claims 16. And the varying descriptions of pregnancy go on and on.

As an avid reader and future father, I want to join my wife in assimilating as much information as possible so we have time to reflect, think and determine a course of parenting action well before the little man shows up. So I have stuck my nose in several of the books for both a biological refresher, a way to better understand what my wife is experiencing physically and emotionally, and hopefully a means to develop a construct by which I can identify myself as a father in four short months.

It is this last item, combined with a book that I had heard much about, was excited to read, and am even more excited to share, which has spurned so many amazing thoughts in the last few days.

The book?

"On Becoming Babywise" by Dr.'s Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam

I will spare the non-dad-blog and non-fatherhood friday readers from a lengthy diatribe on the absolutely incredible things I plan on implementing as a future father, and merely recommend this book as something every expecting parent should read.

If you are the kind of individual who (like my wife and I) prefer to think things through together before trying to tackle them head on, such as, well...raising a child is one example, you HAVE to read this book. I'm not even done with it yet and already I am ten times more excited and confident in my future ability to provide my infant child with the foundation of healthy eating and sleeping habits. What parent wouldn't be excited when millions of parents have been able to get their newborns to sleep through the night within 7-9 weeks.

Read all the other books, learn the biology and the birthplans. Read about how you can support your wife as she goes through the most amazing but trying time of her life.

And when you are done with those, get ready for the coups de grace, the one book that will have you actually looking forward to the first two to three months of your child's life.

Read Babywise.

Family Vacation in Vegas?

2009-04-10T12:35:00.004-05:00

I was in Las Vegas all week for an HDI (Help Desk International) Trade Show. My company sells some killer software and since I am the marketing director guy (read-fancy title for marketing purposes, I direct exactly one person-me) we set up a booth in the expo hall at Mandalay Bay.

Since I missed my culture/art/music/film post on Tuesday, I thought this topic would be perfect to incite a little conversation this FF.

This was my fourth trip to Vegas, the last over four years ago for my bachelor party. This trip, more than likely due to the fact that I will have a son in just over four months, made me acutely aware of the enormous quantity of families vacationing in Las Vegas.

I was actually quite astonished at how many kids of all ages were everywhere. There were almost as many, if not more, families as there were groups of old people, video/camera toting tourists and young couples put together.

I'm not here to criticize those families, or you, the reader, if you have taken a family trip to Vegas, but rather do what all blogs are intended for-express my opinions.

For anyone who has never been to "Sin City" before, it's pseudonym is most apropos. Between billboards, news stands, strip clubs, night clubs and people passing out flyers on every street, and the unspoken fashion mantra of women going out for the night of "Less is more", it's no wonder that Vegas carries the slogan, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". Don't get me wrong, for my bachelor party four years ago, we took advantage of the treats and eye candy that Vegas offers so I'm not trying to get on any type of moral soap box, I merely cite these examples as the primary reason why I was so astounded that so many moms and dads thought this town was a good place to bring their kids. But hey, who am I to think that Vegas isn't the perfect way for my 13 year old son to learn about sex someday.

Maybe, maybe once upon a time when there were more garish sites and rides and amusements to be had, Vegas had more of a diverse appeal, but the town is all about adults. You have to be 21 to gamble, drink, go to a night club or strip club. Most of the entertainment, Cirque du Soleil, concerts, comedians are all geared toward an adult crowd. Which leaves what? A few casual restaurants, arcades and rides for the young ones?

I just think that of all the options out there for family vacations, what makes Las Vegas stand out over camping in Yellowstone, skiing in Colorado, or even a beach in the Caribbean?

I would love to hear from both sides as to why Vegas makes such an apparently good family vacation spot. Anyone?

Survey Says...?

2009-04-03T15:01:00.003-05:00

It's been interesting to listen to the copious speculation over the last twenty weeks from all manner of friend and stranger, whether we are going to have a boy or a girl.

Garvey's entire workplace (99% women-she's a massage therapist and aesthetician at Neroli in Brookfield) has thought for some time that we were having a boy.

Other family and friends have been convinced that a girl was definite in order to balance out the numerous little wieners already playing in the sandbox.

Garvey and I were admittedly hoping for a girl. Her rationale was simple-she wanted a daughter. Mine? a bit more complex and maybe get into it at a later date.

Needless to say, we had our first Ultrasound on Monday and found out we are having a ... (you think I would give it away this early- you know I'm not even half way done)

I must say that 3D imaging is amazing. To be able to not only see my child sucking it's thumb via normal ultrasound, but having an actual picture of it's facial features (thank the dear Lord it looks like my wife) is pretty fan-frickin'-tastic.

The experience was pretty overwhelming. All this time, even though we are half way there, the reality of being a father and having a child has remained somewhat ubiquitous. Seeing my child and finding out its gender have slammed home the legitimacy and permanence of impending parenthood.

Not in an unpleasant way mind you, it hasn't scared me but rather given me much to think about. I am finally able to have something concrete to wrap my head around, and it's been one of the most wonderfully challenging and rewarding conversations with myself in my own head that I have ever had.

Now that Garvey and I know and have been able to assign some relevance and identity to the mystery in her womb, we are finding ourselves wanting even more concrete contstructs to fall into place. Deciding on a name has taken on a new sense of urgency. We've seen the face, the hands the feet, we know that he/she is a he or a she. Now what do we call him?

Yep, couldn't hold out any longer. We are going to have a boy - I am going to have a son.

Now that we know he's a he, we are compelled to name him. We aren't rushing things at all, It's that we are so excited to meet him, we think that naming him will somehow speed things up. It also increases our meager ability to start imagining how we are going to be with him if we can call him by name.

Anyway, wondering if anyone else had a hard time with the unbelievable responsibility of assigning an identity to someone before they are even born? One's name says so much about them, strong-yet not too strong, unique without being bizarre. It's becoming quite an adventure. The whole prospect of being a father, especially now that I know the sex of my child, is an adventure.

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Tech Trade Show Thursday

2009-04-02T21:07:00.003-05:00

I had to throw down a little Thursday alliteration, it just had to happen.

I spent the whole day in Chicago today at a Trade Show hosted by IT Roadmaps which is the events arm of Network World.

We (Big Bang LLC and the Universal Imaging Utility (UIU)) were one of about 40 or so vendors that had a booth at the show.

The show setup is fairly unique. Like most shows, there are individual sessions or tracks hosted by particular vendor featuring various products or technologies in conjunction with exposition time in which registered attendees meander about visiting various booths. Usually, the tracks begin early in the morning, followed by five to six hours of expo time. On occasion for multi-day shows, tracks and expo time will take place a the same time.

The IT Roadmaps format begins with morning tracks, the expo opens for three hours followed by another two hours of sessions and then two hours of cocktail/appetizers with open expo time. This last cocktail segment is very unique, and as great as it might be for the attendees and those vendors that choose to drink behind their booths, the time is not conducive to legitimate vendor/attendee interaction. The other drawback is the IT Roadmaps "Passport". This is a map and list of the vendors and if the attendee gets the corresponding booth number highlighted by enough vendors, they can enter a drawing to win prizes.

The nice about three hours of initial expo time is that they are taken pretty seriously and the attendees are out to get as much information as possible. The downside is that a fair number of attendees are only out to get their "Passports" highlighted with waters down the quality of the lead generation and takes up valuable time which could be spent with attendees very interested in learning about the product.

Some pros, some cons, we talked to some great people and managed some decent leads. For a show that is only an hour and a half away, not a bad use of time and resources.

To write or not to write...

2009-03-31T21:59:00.005-05:00

Today is Tuesday, so today I will explain the rationale, or lack thereof, behind the title of this professedly innocuous blog.

Un-Hawthorne-ed

We shall get the obvious out of the way. The fact that I share a first name with the brilliantly famous writer and poet Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Then comes the fact that I am a literature fanatic, at least as much as is possible given existing time and monetary constraints.

So there is the name, there is the literature connection. But most of all, there is one particular quote from Mr. Hawthorne that is the primary impetus for this blog's title.

"Easy reading is damn hard writing"

To desire to fully emulate or channel the late Mr. Hawthorne would warrant a title along the lines of "Hawthorne-ed" indicating one who is inspired by or even driven to become like. One might say that to be "Hawthorne-ed" would mean being consumed to such an extent that every word that poured forth would be exclaimed in such a way that Mr. Hawthorne's very presence could be felt.

Alas, the title of the blog is "Un-Hawthorne-ed".

As such, I am deigning to write that which is not only easy, but pleasant to read. Particularly given that the ultimate goal of this blog is to perfect a style and tone that will be most appropriate and widely effective for a business audience. Thus, I wish to take that from Mr. Hawthorne's expertise what I may, and yet negate the immediacy of the literary affect in such a way that, if I might be so fortunate, my name and the success of his legendary prose will juxtapose in even the smallest manner as to make these postings worthwhile to the reader yet not bound to any one thema or style - to become "Un-Hawthorne-ed".

Whether or not this will be deemed successful, only you, the reader, is fit to judge. At least now the meaning behind this blog title which is guaranteed to be a SEO nightmare and impossible URL, has been explained.

My very first "Fatherhood Friday" post

2009-03-27T12:33:00.003-05:00

I have been regaled by Shankrabbit's
posts for many weeks now. I was debating back and forth whether or not I wanted to begin writing now as an impending father, or wait until my beautiful Garvey actually gave birth.

Well, it's Friday, I asked Shankrabbit how he came across dad-blogs, and one thing led to another.

So as a registered member of dad-blogs and a contributor towards all that is Fatherhood Friday, I will start to work on formulating the crazy mish-mash of thoughts that have been kicking around in my head now that I have to begin to define myself as "Father".

It's one thing to see my younger brother (the infamous and aforementioned Shankrabbit) with his adorable daughter, my niece. He and the lovely Isabella just seemed to flow from married to parents so naturally, that I didn't think anything of it.

My wife and I are very different. We plan, we calculate, we talk, we analyze and we prepare, so that starting a family was a very well deliberated process which was initiated at precisely the time we felt most appropriate. In fact, the only thing that I share thus far with Shankrabbit, is that we both impregnated our wives within a month and a half of trying.

So even though my gorgeous niece is already almost a year old, and I have had much interaction with them in their familial setting, there is very little that helps me prepare my head for completely wrapping around the new prospect of daddy.

I'm not the least bit scared, really. With all the planning and thinking mentioned above, my wife and I always hit the ground running when it comes to big things is life. I mean, I just changed careers, bought our first home, and found out I was going to have a baby within 2 months time. We handle excitement pretty well.

I'm excited to read from other dads who have been there before me and hopefully pick up some useful things along the way. For my part, I will do what I can to make these Friday posts at least somewhat coherent and entertaining.

The "Twittersphere"

2009-03-26T20:19:00.014-05:00

The business applications of the burgeoning world of Twitter have come up quite frequently lately. PR, Marketing/Advertising, many have offered up the possibilities of spending time fostering relationships.

The tone and feel of the Twitter world, however, remains a bit of an enigma. The nature of the communication is such that personalities are fairly easy to determine, yet the groups of people that communicate with one another respond differently than other, perhaps less personal interactions.

Individuals express themselves freely, many linking or posting interesting news, particularly events and matters of local importance. Some post the ongoing time line that is the events of their day. Some use twitter to vent and rant perpetually or shamelessly self-promote. Others use it to promote their business, or the business and success of others in a very positive way- see previous post The Social Media Phenomenon.

Whatever the individual portent, pontification or purpose, the amalgam that is the collection of particular users is what intrigues me the most. Some of these individuals know each other personally, others have met via business or other groups. Some have even met via Tweetups or other Twitter themed events, and many, if not most, have never met at all. Yet the different groups that move about the "Twitterverse" have a very clique-ish feel to them.

In spite of best intentions, changes in tactic, or altruistic endeavors, it can be very difficult to gain response from certain people in these groups in spite of "expert" recommended approaches. Re-tweeting is a great way to gain some ground. When someone tweets items of importance or accomplishment, re-tweeting and adding a positive comment usually has good results. Replying as soon as possible when one of your "tweeple" asks a question of his/her followers and offering suggestions or promoting someone's business, are all ways to gain acceptance.

However, there seems to be several types of groups that seem reluctant to admit an outsider into their fold. They possess an almost protective, adolescent attitude toward acknowledging outsider's tweets. Ignoring direct replies after countless interactions leads one to feel like the kid in high school who sat by himself at the end of the table. You could roll your eyes and think that I have been jilted by my followers and am now posting in retribution, but as the real me- @Nbauer, I have had some incredible success from both a personal and business standpoint.

For the sake of experiment, I have gone into the twitter world under a number of aliases and have been followed by the same people. The effects were oddly similar regardless of my approach. Even more strange is that the alias with which I have had the most success was not the altruistic promoter, but rather the smug, bitter ranter, intensely biased against all things not "east-side/downtown Milwaukee".

It seems that unless you already have a relationship, are part of some culture or club with multiple representation, or possess some alt/mod/hip insider connection or way of life, you may have a difficult time being cool enough to follow, let alone responded to.

I would love to take a significantly larger amount of space to further expound on this interesting facet of the newest gem under the social media microscope, but for now will leave the questions posed for input, and this wonderful little satire from of my "tweeple" @meganme posted yesterday, The Twouble with Twitter.

Anyone have any theories on the unique group psychology of those in the land of Twitter?

I Miss You Rachel

2009-03-24T19:53:00.004-05:00

Tuesday requires some thought regarding anything to do with the stuff I most like to think about, art, lit, music, film, culture.

Today is about how I wasn't able to got to the Rachel Yamagata show at Turner Hall Ballroom with Shankrabbit - because I was sick.

I even had tickets.

That makes being sick even more uncool.

Rachel is awesome if you have never seen her. The first time I did was when she was rockin' vocals for Chicago-based punk-fusion Bumpus.

She's really captured my ear since she released Happenstance, her first full-length album. What really made it cool was that is was produced by John Alagia who has produced for Dave Matthews, John Mayer and BEN FOLDS! and anyone who knows me, knows how I feel/felt (topic for another post) about Mr. Folds.

Her latest album/s Elephants...Teeth Sinking into Heart is a two-part dichotomous effort that balances dark and vulnerable with bold and fiesty. Super awesome if you haven't heard it yet.

Her live shows are awesome too, and what really entranced me to her music. She has a very natural, unassuming way of connecting with her audience. It's impossible not to get sucked in.

So I'm disappointed that I won't be there tonight, I was really looking forward to seeing a show with Shankrabbit and even more so that my friend Dylan (who knows Rachel personally) and his fabulous girlfriend Clare took off of work and will be at the show.

Ah well, I will have to resign to her beautiful music via headphones until the next time she makes it back to town.

No exercise for me

2009-03-21T07:16:00.003-05:00

Just when I got a great job, which for the first time in way to long, allowed me the chance to start to get back into decent shape, I had to go and have a completely useless organ removed which will prevent me from exercise for at least a month.

Arrrgh!

After being away from rock climbing for over three years, I renewed my membership to Adventure Rock Climbing gym and had started to climb three days a week.

I had been doing yoga every morning before work.

I had even gone for a run on a nice day and was looking forward running three days a week.

Now I have to sit on my butt and not lift anything heavier than ten pounds for over a month.

I have a deadline people! I have a baby coming in August and I have to be in smokin' good shape because from everything I have been told, once the baby arrives, I won't have time for anything, let alone exercise.

So I think I am going to buy P90X.

I have had two friends that have made it the whole 90 days and the results have been extraordinary. No fad diets, no starving, only solid, sweet workout. The best part is that I don't have to go to the gym- I hate going to the gym and mindlessly lifting weights.

So the new time frame looks like this:
-No exercise until at least the end of April
-May, June and July for P90X
-Three weeks left before child is born

Anyone else have any stories about their experience with P90X?

Scheduled Blog Posts

2009-03-19T21:20:00.003-05:00

Schedules and Organization is supposed to be good for you in general or so "they" say.

From what I have seen, many a blogger will adhere to a rather rigorous calendar of post themes and times for a variety of reasons, the foremost to aid in garnering a regular following of readers.

I also have to design a schedule for my upcoming onMilwaukee.com wine column. With one column a week, I figure it would make sense to get a calendar of topics ready so that once I get rolling and hopefully gain a steady readership, they will have a schedule that will keep them interested.

So what do I do for this blog?

I like Tuesdays, Thursday and Saturdays for posts, but the appeal of joining in on the "Fatherhood Fridays" whether immediately as an impending father, or after I actually have a child, is definitely there. But what to bore people with the other three days?

Do I limit myself by selecting a particular topic/topics for the respective days thus eliminating the possibility of spontaneity? Perhaps I can select a broad range for each day such as Lit/Film/Music/Culture for Tuesdays, Technology/Work Thursdays and perhaps Fun and Fitness on Saturdays.

That sounds good, the only thing I don't like is that because two of my days start with the letter "T", and I don't want to write about work on Saturdays, I am unfortunately forced to succumb to the overly utilized alliteration madness that plagues the blog trenches. So only one day will be the trodden with the troublesome
"T" toting alliteration.

Ok, so this is what we will roll with for the time being. If it doesn't work, this blog is all about practice after all.

See you on Saturday.

Unexpected Existentialist Sledghammer

2009-03-18T12:05:00.005-05:00

So as the Percocet starts to wear off (I refuse to take it any more, it messes with my head on an unacceptable level), I want to write about my experience the last few days.

I woke up at 5am on Sunday morning with some pretty significant abdominal pain. The Cliff's Notes version to spare you from the details of my gastro-intestinal plight, is that within 6 hours I was being admitted to the hospital with appendicitis.

I have not only never had major surgery, but aside from a few stitches along the way, have never spent any amount of time in a hospital, nor have I ever received general anesthesia.

The degree of significance of these factors increases exponentially when you throw my wife into the mix, pregnant with our first child. I wasn't prepared for the new thoughts and feelings that whalloped me out of the blue.

Realization of mortality will rear its existential head from time to time, but never before have I been faced with being in a position in which I had no control. And never before have I had been so in touch with those who would be left behind.

My wife is one the most capable, independent and composed women I have ever met. So when I looked into my wife's eyes and saw tears, I almost lost it. Even with a procedure and simple and commonplace as an appendectomy, the thought of me being put under and cut up in any way with even the smallest of possibility of me not being able to take care of my wife and child, left me reassessing my life and praying for the chance to take care of myself however I can to be able to take care of my wife and child for many years. The idea of leaving my wife behind at this point almost destroyed me.

The other big thing that hit me was my brother. Now you have to understand that I was extremely touched that my whole family made it to the hospital before I even went into surgery. It is a testament to the depth of the relationships we have as a family and I love them all. But my younger brother and I have had a special connection for most of our lives and when he grabbed my hand while I was laying in the hospital bed, I experienced a jolt to my whole being that I was not prepared for.

I wish I could articulate all the mental, physical and emotional thoughts and feelings that I have since has the chance to digest. It goes beyond mere realization of mortality, understanding of the depth of emotional connection to one's family, it rips at a part of my soul in a way that I have not quite understood. I think it goes beyond any fear of the unknown, and farther than any comprehensible emotional connection. I believe it is the closest we are able to understand true humility.

Humility in the sense that the last thing on your mind is yourself. All I was able to think about was my wife, my child, my brother and my family and wanting to make sure they were going to be alright. I also think humility in the sense that in this one particular moment a man must grasp his individual insignificance in the world and experience the overwhelming desire to do whatever it takes to care for those he loves.

I am surprised that something as routine as an appendectomy was able to stir such powerful thoughts in me the last few days. I pray that I won't have to experience surgeries of more significance, and I pray for those who have and will. I am thankful to the opportunity to be able to digest this experience a bit. I think I am still going to be a mess when my child is born though.

Recalcitrant Poster

2009-03-17T19:54:00.002-05:00

Well, I entered into this whole blog thing with the best of intentions.

I wanted to post every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for starts.

And I wanted contribute something worthwhile to read for the two wonderful people who actually pay attention to this blog.

So far I have failed miserably at the former, the latter is up for debate.

There have been some reason for the inability to maintain consistent posts which will partly be expounded upon in the next post.

Word of amusement of deterrent for at least the next three posts-- they will be written while under the influence of Percocet, yes that is acetaminophen and oxycodone mixed together.

So enjoy the altered tone of the next few posts, and if you aren't able to tell, then I guess I have issues with, something.

P.S. Code Monkey Daddy needs to help me figure out why I can't get the xml template to work on my blog--it needs some serious pretty-ing up.

The "luster" of the Nation's capitol?

2009-03-10T18:25:00.004-05:00

I just finished day two of four in Washington D.C. I had never previously been to the locus of our countries power and decision making. After at least two decades of cognitive ability great enough to understand the significance of this particular city in the US of A, I had come to think of it on an almost mythic level.

There have been so many famous and infamous parcels of history, stories, movies, political scandals, etc. that this town had become something greater than life in my mind's eye. When I saw images and pictures of the Washington Monument or the Lincoln Memorial, they instantly resonated with the iconic symbolism of freedom and the "American Way".

So when I rolled into town yesterday afternoon, I wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted me that is actually this illustrious town. As we headed east from Reagan Airport, I was perhaps expecting too much, but what really underwhelmed me was the normality of just about everything. Small urban sprawl, normal in just about every way aside from the phallic pyramid-topped monument (which is actually considerably shorter and more stout than images make it appear)

I'm not sure why the lackluster sentiment prevailed my thinking as I saw this town for the first time, and to be fair, tomorrow will be the day that I visit the Vietnam War Memorial and the Mall to see all the half mile of "real" DC sights, but maybe I have grown recently cynical of the ability of Washington to embody the character of the nation. Between the last eight years of confusion, the current economic climate, and the existing administrations apparent naivete, I wonder if I am perhaps allowing these factors to negatively influence my ability to appreciate the history and significance of this city to legitimately represent the heart and soul of America.

If the economy turns around, and the new president comes through to "change" the world, will my next visit show me a different view? Will I see this city in its deserved light?

And most importantly, is it inappropriate of me to have such a fickle, callow ideal of my countries capitol?

The Social Media Phenomenon

2009-03-04T22:47:00.003-06:00

I realize that countless people have written articles, blogs, posts, papers and every other form of language-based media on the topic that is the title of this particular post, but I was thinking about it quite a bit today after a brief Twitter correspondence with @AlKrueger, so I will add to the collection of Web 2.0 noise.

With all the various sites and applications available, there are almost too many different types of social networking sites to choose from. Business, pleasure, business and pleasure, entertainment, they all represent unique and challenging ways to communicate with people.

What I find most intriguing is how seemingly many people begin their foray into social media with neither research nor agenda.

The over-arching question people don't seem to consider is, "Why should any of these tweeps, friends, or new network contacts care about anything I have to say, let alone sell?"

It is only all too apparent this question is not being considered as demonstrated by the constant inundation of spam-like ads and posts with undertones such as, "BUY THIS BUY THIS!", and "EVERYONE LOOK AT ME!, WHY IS NO ONE HANGING ON EVERY WORD I HAVE TO SAY?", and even, "I HAVEN'T SEEN OR TALKED TO YOU IN OVER TEN YEARS, BUT LET'S HAVE A CONVERSATION NOW EVEN THOUGH WE NEVER TALKED BACK THEN!"

The result is expected and, most of you will agree, almost unanimous. We not only ignore said individual, but develop an aversion to most everything they represent.

What people do not understand is, I believe, one of the things that makes social media so timely and wonderful in our society and culture at present; the ability to interact with others and actually be a part of, and connect with, other human beings in a meaningful way. Now, some will be skeptical of the increased lack of direct human interaction and the safety of hiding behind a computer screen (which can be the topic of another post), but that very safety allows those who may not have the capacity to interact with others, to do just that, and on a more altruistic plane.

Ironically enough, this other-focused approach is, in my estimate, the best way to get to know people and promote your business. What better way to get people interested in who you are and what you do than by first taking the time and energy to be a resource to them? Promote their product, when questions are posted-be as helpful as possible, re-tweet them, post their links, put them in contact with the people you know who can be a resource, etc., etc., etc..

Granted the process of development is much slower and takes quite a bit of work on your part, but the results are hugely beneficial in some pretty incredible ways. Not only is the innate effectiveness of "old school" networking so much more efficient with social media, but a terrific side effect of establishing and maintaining all these super-solid connections is that you are tied into, and helping to develop, your community. Non-profits, community activist groups, social meeting organizations, chambers of commerce, and all the myriad of business associates comprise the typical social network. Its a veritable playground of different people who have a very real and easy tool at their fingertips to make a big difference and have a positive impact on your business and brand.

So take advantage of this amazing new tool that is Social Media. Use it, take the time to care about why all these legitimate "strangers" you come in contact with should care about you and what you have to say. If you haven't asked yourself the question of what your goals of social media are, pay attention to those like-minded individuals with compatible paradigms who have, and are making some pretty cool things happen.

Cooking for a pregnant wife.

2009-03-01T19:23:00.003-06:00

I love to cook.

I cook frequently and I find that now that I am no longer in the restaurant business, which allows me the actual time required for decent cooking, the chance to prepare quality meals is really quite cathartic. I have the most experience with classical french cuisine, which could be argued is the real basis for all great cooking anyway, but I enjoy experimenting with just about every type of cuisine on the planet. There isn't anything that I don't enjoy eating (and I have consumed some pretty crazy stuff) and since the only thing my wife doesn't care for is raw onion, I am afforded the opportunity to cook mostly whatever suits my fancy. In fact, I have taken to being quite creative, dallying in a little bit of this and a little bit of that to hone my relatively adolescent culinary prowess.

Now for the most part, my wife Jen and I eat very healthy, which means I don't rely on my french roots thus avoiding the necessary amounts of butter and fat-rich proteins. The other major challenge is that as much as we would like to eat really great cuts of fish on a regular basis, the cost required elevates that reality beyond the possibility of day to day consumption.

This brief background information leads me to the topic of this post-preparing food for my pregnant wife who just passed the 15 week mark. I had heard so many stories for men who claimed that their pregnant wives were incorrigible and sporadic and crazy eaters whilst pregnant. The rumors of pickles with ice cream, anchovies with cherry pie, thus far, have not been a part of my wife's particular eating preferences. In fact, she has been so easy to cook for, because just about every meal she requests is straightforward, easy to prepare, and bordering on the conservative. She has even gone so far on a regular basis, as to text or send me a message detailing the meal to such exactitude, that all I need to do is come home and start cooking. Protein, veg, starch. Fish, broccoli, salad. etc., etc., etc.

So aside from a few random bouts of picking up burgers and milk shakes, I can feel pretty good not only about a level headed pregnant wife eating all the things that are so good for our child, but I can take a break from experimentation with world cuisines and go back to trying to make really simple food taste really great while still making it healthy to eat.

Some of the best chef's in the world have made their mark on the world by hand selecting only the freshest and finest proteins and produce available and preparing them in a fashion that allows their innate flavors to shine without contention or contrivance. This then, has been my focus while preparing all the simple dishes for my wife. Trying to find the best, freshest pieces of each meal.

Because of this fresh focus, I am particularly excited about being a part of an organic farming cooperative this season. If anyone, especially in the Milwaukee area, has any recommendation for the best place to get certain best items, I would be most obliged to learn them.

Until then, I will continue to be extremely fortunate to continue preparing hopefully tasty and healthy meals for my brilliant wife.
Bon Appetite.

It had to start somewhere

2009-02-24T13:52:00.006-06:00

The beginning has to start somewhere.

This is that.

I think I am going to try and maintain fairly consistent content and tone and, wait... no the whole point of this blog is practice. I believe rather, that I will experiment with a variety of styles and implementations to see if I can determine which may be most effective to pursue in a business setting.
So, for that one, or maybe if I'm lucky, those two people who may or may not read this drivel on a semi-regular basis, I promise to try and not make your eyes bleed or your brain send your nervous system a flash warning message inducing extreme nausea too often.
Along the way I will probably be covering a variety of topics and subject matter including, but not limited to; impending fatherhood, marketing and advertising, music, movies, banana seat bicycles, my family, my wife, rock climbing, books and literature (notice how I separate the two?) technology, oranges, the regular goings on in life, the logical and systematic analysis of the variables surrounding the random disappearance of socks from a load of laundry sent through a dryer , and maybe, just maybe-but probably not- politics.
I am also rather fond of writing on topics of interest to other people. So if anyone actually reads this and has something that they would like to discuss or read, I find that not only do I enjoy writing in the place of, and for, other people, but I really enjoy exploring and learning about topics and ideas that I might not have otherwise sought out myself.
As to the frequency of posts for this blog, I will try to post new material at least three times a week as I envision I would for a business oriented blog, unless of course, inspiration or a stroke of genius hits me out of the blue (which has yet to happen, but one must have goals) and I feel compelled to post more frequently, which may or may not, lead to a decrease in the already limited number of followers. We shall see.

I can already hear one individual's question regarding the title of this blog, which will surely be ellaborated upon at a later date. In the meantime, however, I will leave you with a quote from the gentleman at least partially responsible for the titles inception which sets the tone for this and all future posts.

" No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true."

Un-hawthorne-ed

Big Bang Blog - Do a Small Business Marketing Budget or you're...

Big Bang Blog - Hiring the First Employee - Part 1: When to Hire

Big Bang Blog - The Success and Failure of My 2011 Marketing Goals.

Big Bang Blog - Captain Morgan Strikes the Bottom Line

Big Bang Blog - Small Business actually falls for Big Company Advertising Pitch-A Self Study

Big Bang Blog - What's in a title?

Big Bang Blog - QR Codes - the Future or a Fad?

Big Bang Blog - Small Business Learning - Part 2 - The Employees

Why I should abandon all digital interaction entirely

Big Bang Blog - Time for a new CRM?

Big Bang Blog - Small Business Learning - Part 1 - The Employer

Big Bang Blog - Battle Royale - Development vs. Marketing

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Finale

Big Bang Blog - Top Five Things I'm Thankful for as a Marketer

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Part 3

Fountainhead is scaring me for the first time...

Big Bang Blog - The Biggest Marketing Convention of the Year and Why You Should Attend Next Fall

Big Bang Blog - A banker, a lawyer, and a CPA - Part 2

Why Politics makes my stomach churn

Eat Pray Love...Vomit

Christian Faith and the Death of a Child

After more than a year...

Christmas looks a little different

How not to promote your LinkedIn Group (A real-life example)

A lot all at once

I'm measuring life's amazing moments by...

I knew when I had a kid I would be busy, but...

All...Most...There

"Da Dada da, the Final Countdown"

*Knock Knock* anyone there?

There's a Mutant in There!

Will the Decision maker in the room please stand up, please stand up

Chief Master Specialist Sergeant Master Chief what?

"Your Life is over as you know it"

It may be time for an intervention

Moms Nest, Dads...?

"Bi-Partisan Parenting" or "Two Naive Soon-to-be parents who think they can figure things out ahead of time but at least agree on everything"

Best Buy, Best Business

Fear Mongering Media

Saturating the Interwebz

What has this country come to, when a guy can't...

Learning Parenting Lessons Already

Optimize This!

A million and one baby books

Family Vacation in Vegas?

Survey Says...?

Tech Trade Show Thursday

To write or not to write...

My very first "Fatherhood Friday" post

The "Twittersphere"

I Miss You Rachel

No exercise for me

Scheduled Blog Posts

Unexpected Existentialist Sledghammer

Recalcitrant Poster

The "luster" of the Nation's capitol?

The Social Media Phenomenon

Cooking for a pregnant wife.

It had to start somewhere

Knock Knock anyone there?